Sony, Sony, Sony...

Good morning.

Please find below our response to this news.
We have been have been waiting for the right moment to release this response in order to assess the situation and consider our next move.

We would like to confirm that this is indeed a significant step forward to fully opening up our system which far exceeds our initial expectations of your community. Having said that however, we can also confirm that you have only compromised approximately 5% of the overall security measures in place on our PS3 hence our currently relaxed approach to the matter.

In order to reward your efforts and exceeding our expectations, we would now like to provide you with some free intel on our protection measures which will go some way in hopefully making your community realise the errors of your ways.

First of all, we can confirm that the root key is in actual fact “BACON” (case sensitive) as was pointed out by Mr Rusty Cockring in one of the posts above. Knowing this root key alone however is meaningless as we have a further, more robust protection measure implemented on our system.

We would like to confirm that the “redundant SPU” reported in many articles is in fact no such thing....

This “redundant SPU” is in actual fact a disguised micro-transmitter operating over secure frequencies back to our secret underground headquarters via a complex system of covert satellites in orbit at various altitudes around the earth. Within these headquarters is a very large, red panic button that we can assure you will be pressed the very moment we become aware our PS3 has been opened up to “homebrew” and piracy possibilities.

Upon pressing this button, the panic command will be distributed to every single consumer release PS3 unit on the planet. This panic command will result in the PS3 transforming into a 18.5ft tall robot armed with thermo-nuclear missiles and pulse rifles. This transformation process alone will result in many of your houses crumbling due to the sheer size of our robots but that is only the start of their destructive force.

Each one of our robots will systematically hunt, torture and then kill every single person considered by us to be guilty of undertaking “illegal activities” on our past and present systems. Such “illegal activities” range from fully hacking our PSP to downloading a pirated game. We assure you that we have records (updated daily) of who you are so we can confidently state that you that you will not escape the wrath of our robot army.

Upon successful completion of our “cleansing stage”, our robots will then proceed to launch their thermo-nuclear payloads at key locations around the world. This will result in the destruction of the human race with exception to our employees housed within the secret underground headquarters.

The whole process will ultimately enable us to live the rest of our lives in a fully protected, DRM rich utopia, something which we have strived to achieve for many years now.
So please consider this a friendly warning, we have prepared for this for a long time now.

Don’t make us press the panic button.....

Yours sincerely

Sony